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| Johnny Knoxville & Steve-O inspired? |
Lead tidbit out of Vancouver suburb Abbotsford (home to my cousin Mark who I hope wasn't involved). Three intoxicated young men (names and ages not released) decided to strip down to nothing and go through a local car wash on what was known as the 'typhoon' cycle in a shopping cart. Neighbours called police when they heard the trio screaming in pain. Abbotsford police constable Ian McDonald said in a statement "We arrived to find intoxicated men putting their clothes back on, and realizing that the best decisions aren't made while drunk and at a car wash without a car in the middle of the night." Noted. No charges were laid in the incident and it was not reported whether they paid extra for the hot wax.
Original Story
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| Mitt didn't move for six days |
On the American political front, Former Massachusetts Governor and US President hopeful Mitt Romney's targets have moved from his fellow Republican candidates to President Obama. Obama slammed the proposed Republican budget plan, backed by Romney and put together by Mitt's crony Paul Ryan, current chairman of the US House Committee on the Budget, calling it 'thinly veiled social Darwinisn,' which of course means that money evolved from monkeys. Mr. Romney lashed back at the President by saying he has made the nation's economy weaker in his first four years in office and if he wins the election he promises to reinstate tax breaks to the people who really need it, corporate america, as well as scrapping Obama's well intentioned, albeit flawed health care reform. He continued by saying "There is no question that under this president, this recovery has been the most tepid, the most weak, the most painful since the beginning of our recorded economic history, and I'm including the Great Depression." He also mentioned that more jobs have been lost than at any time since the Depression. Sounds like someones a man with a plan. The results of the caucuses and primaries so far has Mitt in the lead, inspiring a new Ben & Jerry's flavour called 'Mitt Chocolate Chip,' which is just mint chocolate chip infused with shredded campaign signs from his failed 2008 Presidential campaign. The signs were printed on organic paper.
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| What else can be said? |
Wow, things have really hit rock bottom for Nick Nolte. Oh, that's Lisa Robin Kelly who played Eric Foreman's promiscuous shrew of a sister on That's 70's Show and all I can say is who cares?
Original Story
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The Major League Baseball season opens its North American portion of the season with the defending World Series champion St. Louis Cardinals taking on the newly branded Miami Marlins and their state of the art downtown ball park, Marlins Park. As much as I will miss the thousands of empty cascading orange seats in the upper decks in the stadium formerly known as Joe Robbie, it's nice to see a franchise that has always fielded fairly respectable team with minimal assets, including two World Series runs, get a stadium to call their own. They also bolstered their line up around their two main core guys Hanley Ramirez and Josh Johnson. The Marlins added all star shortstop Jose Reyes, starters Mark Buehrle and Carlos Zambrano now teammates after being cross town rivals in ChiTown. The Marlins also managed to pluck away all star closer Heath Bell from the Padres to bolster their bullpen, and brought in former White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen. They are looking on par with the Braves, but could challenge the Phillies for the pennant with some luck. As for the Cardinals, they lose the big man Albert Pujols to new AL West favorite Los Angeles Angels, but did add former Met, big bat Carlos Beltran to offset some of the lost offence. Should be a great season. Play ball!
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The Blue Jays open the season today in Cleveland and are hoping not to suffer from a Grapefruit League hang over where they were far and away the best team. The Blue Jays season has become something to look forward to for some time for Toronto sports fan, in particular followers of the Maple Leafs who's stunning second half collapse isn't unlike that of the Boston Red Sox last september. Maybe the team's I cheer for are just cursed. This just in: the Indiana Pacers have collapsed from a sure playoff spot and Reggie Miller trips, falls and breaks his orbital bone during his induction to the Hall of Fame. Also, Art Modell with be coming back to the Cleveland Browns with intentions of moving the team to Albuquerque, New Mexico.
THE LITERARY CORNER
I don't really read books. Fiction that is. Don't know why. I have enjoyed the dozen or so books since school that I have read but for some reason I just don't really have the desire. We'll see how quickly this gets old because of the fact I have so few novels. How it works is, I take a small excerpt from a book and break it down, in five words or less, what the author is talking about.
'In what way was my idea any stupider than the other
ideas and theories that have swarmed and clashed in
the world, one after the other, since the world began?
All you have to do is look at it from a disinterested
and completely independent point of view, free of the
common preconceptions, and surely, if you do that, my
idea turns out to be not quite so... grotesque."
or "TRUST ME, I'M RIGHT"
See how easy breaking down Crime and Punishment is. If it was written today that whole book would be but a pamphlet.
Ok, so that was kind of stupid. But that's about all I have got at this point, so that's the news to me.
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