yesterday's news .:. jan 16

New Year! New Post! Hopefully not the only one of 2014!

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If you felt a large exhale breezing across the Toronto skyline, it may have came from Mayor Rob Ford's office at City Hall. Alas, another large politician who is making apology after apology for Bobby Moynihan to portray on a weekly basis has entered the squared circle. Chris Christie, current New Jersey governor and potential presidential candidate, (well.. not now) may have had someone on his staff shut down two of three lanes providing access to the George Washington Bridge from September 9-13 causing chaos for commuters and emergency vehicles alike. Pretty annoying for everyone involved but even more so for the poor guy who died because the ambulance couldn't get to him. Why would he do this you ask? Political revenge obviously. The target: a small town democratic Mayor, a Mr. Mark Sokolich of Fort Lee who hadn't supported him in the 2013 New Jersey Gubernatorial (Governors') Election. Emails from Christie staffers even referred to Sokolich in a derogatory manner knowing the highway closure would affect him. On company emails boys? Come on. I expect a bit more from politicians sleazy wise. I didn't think he'd completely deny and blame then fire staffers, though he does look like the type of bloke who would encase someone in cement and dispatch them to the bottom of the lake. And hot on the heels of the "highway gate" (did I just coin that?) CNN learned that a federal inquiry on the advance made by Christie from Hurricane Sandy relief funds to fun his campaign for the 2013 Gubernatorial Election has begun. Kind of a douche movie.  I don't enjoy reality TV, never have… but if these two guys hooked up on some kind of Canada vs USA fat mayor show, I'd tune into the pilot (ahem… Fox). Speaking of hilarious crack smoking mayors; it's been almost 24 years (January 18, 1990) since Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington DC was busted smoking crack in a sting operation orchestrated by the FBI and his ex-girlfriend Hazel Diane 'Rasheeda' Moore. During the videotaped arrest Barry noted that the 'bitch set me up,' and makes for outstanding YouTube watching.

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Aloha from Hawaii! I'm not actually in Hawaii. I wish..But it's been 41 years since the broadcast of the 'Elvis: Aloha From Hawaii' TV special. Elvis performed two benefit concerts for the Kui Lee Cancer Fund and recorded them both, the second of which was broadcasted via satellite to millions of viewers live become the first global concert satellite broadcast. The first show was recorded and ready to air in case the satellite technology still in its infancy failed but the show aired without interruption as scheduled on January 14, 1973. Ironically, the special didn't air in the United States until April 4, 1973 because it aired the same day as Super Bowl (Miami beat Washington if you're keep score) leaving Americans anticipating the first 'live broadcast' concert 10 weeks later. Good call! Oh, as for the actual show, here's a recap: Elvis wore an elaborate outfit with an eagle on it, he did play "Hound Dog," and ran through some other rock & roll standards like 'Johnny B Goode' and 'Long Tall Sally. Not long after the show, Elvis' divorce was finalized (he and Priscilla had separated in February 1972) and his health went downhill faster than a bottle of quaaludes at, well, Elvis' house. 

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I haven't been to a music festival in a long time. Well, Riot Fest two years ago, but I was only there for a couple hours. But Lollapalooza, Warped Tour, Hellfest were all insanely fun and it was some of the most eye opening times I've ever had as an impressionable youth (is it still pronounced 'yout'?). But every time I'd have a conversation with some random person they were always true, real, fairly good folks. When I picture a music festival now I picture three days of overcrowded camping areas, overflowing portable lavatories (not to mention the rivers of piss everywhere from people who have stopped using them), and endless conversations that go like this:

Maybe I'm just getting old and curmudgeon. Maybe it's funny and horrifying all at once. Maybe I'm becoming Grandpa Simpson.

Homer: Come on Dad, you are just not with.

Grandpa Simpson: I used to be with it, until the changed what it was. Now what I am with isn't it and what is it seems scary to me. And the same thing is going to happen to you, mark my words!

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Brian Griffin is/was kind of dead. That is what we know of the death of pretend dogs. Basically, they just stopped animating the drawing of a dog for an episode or two. It caused quite the uproar when the animated canine was killed after being hit by a car in November. But knowing full well they can't kill of the best character on the show, Stewie went back in time in the Christmas episode to prevent his death and the absurd 'normalcy' of the show had been restored. Did they kill off that weird dog that was voiced by Tony Sirico? Anyways, always a genius with a master plan, creator and the voice of Brian, Seth McFarlane revealed why he did this (obvs on the Twitters): "You didn't really think we'd kill off Brian, did you? Jesus, we'd have to be f***ing high. And thus endeth our warm, fuzzy holiday lesson: Never take those you love for granted, for they can be gone in a flash." Well, there you go! Seth proves conclusively that he isn't just a dick and fart joke factory, but is giving you something to think about. The talking bear movie guy showing us what's up. 

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Is Andy Kaufman alive or dead? Weird dude, never the hugest fan in that he never made me laugh out loud (lol as the kids say) but what he did was always interesting, whether he's lip synching along to a "Pop Goes the Weasel" 45 on SNL in the 70's to almost getting clocked out by Michael Richards on "Fridays" for not reading his lines… like at all. He thought it would 'be funny.' Kaufman was also obsessed with the idea of faking his own death, constantly talked friend and comedian Bob Zmuda's ear off about his brilliant scheme. Fake your own death, pop out twenty years later and yell 'Surprise!' would be the ultimate prank. He 'died' May 16, 1984 putting the twenty year mark (get out your calculators) at 2004. The years roll by, uneventfully on the Kaufman front although in 2013 a one Stephen Maddox of Greenwood, Indiana claimed to be Kaufman's son, and that his step father and Andy had switched places so he could be relieved of his mid-level fame. There was another incident in November 2013 at the 9th Annual Andy Kaufman Awards where a woman who claimed to be Andy's daughter went on stage and said her father wanted 'to live a quiet life and raise a family.' As it turns out, Andy's brother Michael Kaufman hired the woman to play Andy's daughter for the night. Too bad because I'd love Andy to just show up somewhere and do something weird. 

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The Toronto Maple Leafs have hit the winter version of baseball's 'June Swoon' after a horrific December and a not-so-great November. The new year started off auspiciously enough with a win at the Winter Classic against Detroit with Tyler Bozak clinching the victory in the shootout. Still hungover from the Ann Arbor air, the Leafs soldiered through a stretch of games where they were absolutely abysmal, the low point being a 6-1 drubbing at the hands of the Carolina Hurricanes in Raleigh. The cracks really started to show from habits established early in the season that were masked by superb goaltending. You can't give up forty shots a night and expect to win in any league higher than Junior B. The sub-par play of late can't be attributed to the goalies. They have looked weak at times, a Bernier trapezoid miscue here, a Reimer softie in a tie game there, but goaltending is the least of our issues right now. Giving up forty shots is all well and good if they are from the outside but you can't give up these grade A chances to NHL players… Just hanging Reims and Bernie out to dry. Fortunately, the Leafs currently find themselves on a three game winning streak, seemingly righting the ship (the canoe) with shootout wins against the Devils on Sunday and the Sabres Wednesday, and a huge emotional win over the Bruins in Boston sandwiched in on Tuesday. The modest streak vaulted the Leafs from their season low position of eleventh to fifth seed in the tight albeit weak Eastern Conference setting up a showdown with their oldest rivals, the Montreal Canadians, for a Saturday night "Hockey Night In Canada" tilt. Montreal currently sits in fourth place in the conference, six points up on the Leafs.

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Team Canada. Roster has been announced. Seabrook should be on the team. All I'm gonna say. Oh, and make Toews captain. Here's the Canadian team:

The Swedish,  Finnish, Russian, Czech, and American teams are equally frightening. Check out the other rosters HERE.
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Songs.

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Game on 2014.

world juniors 2013

Still no NHL. I think we're over it anyways. Quite often the best hockey of the year (at least in Toronto) is during the World Junior Tournament that kicks off every boxing day. The games, officially known as "2013 Ice Hockey U20 World Championship, are being held is Russia, who host the tournament after losing the Gold medal game to Sweden in Calgary and Edmonton, Alberta last year. Canada placed third, winning the bronze medal game against Finland following a semi-final loss to the Russians. Their long time rivals came out of the gates full speed ahead and built up a 6-1 lead at the midway mark of the third period. The Canadians finally got their game going, 50 minutes too late, losing the game 6-5 after potting three quick goals to give Team Russia a scare. It was the first time Canada hadn't played in the gold medal game in 11 years. This year, the Canadians are sending out locked out Oiler young gun Ryan Nugent-Hopkins (who scored 18 goals in 62 games during his rookie NHL season) to captain a team that features six returnees, but is overall, a young team (relative terms for an under 20 event). But since the third place was the worst showing since 2001's bronze, change may not be the worst thing. A potential issue for team Canada is that if the NHL lockout resolves itself then four of their returnees will have to go back to their NHL clubs. Some owners are fine with their rookies playing for their country, others not so much. The final rosters must be submitted on Christmas day and no player can be added to the roster after said date. If we lose Nugent-Hopkins (Oilers), Jonathan Huberdeau (Florida Panthers), Mark Scheifele (Winnipeg Jets), Dougie Hamilton (Boston Bruins) and Ryan Strome (New York Islanders), we could be in for a rough ride. The loss of the veterans would definitely be a tough blow, but a shortened bench for the playoff round of the tournament would be the main  obstacle to overcome. The NHL, in lieu of angering anymore Canadians, might want to wait until after the Juniors until they resolve their player-owner CBA bickering. 

Phil Housley, seven time NHL All-Star, takes the reigns of an American squad that's coming off their worst finish in the tournament since 1999's 8th place finish. Their roster this season only has three returnees: Kitchener Rangers/Anaheim Ducks' pick John Gibson, U of Michigan/Winnipeg Jets' pick Jacob Trouba, and the New York Rangers' first rounder in 2011 J.T. Miller, who is the only one actually playing pro hockey now, with the Rangers AHL affiliate, Conneticut Whale. In fact, all but three players on the Americans roster have been drafted by an NHL team and that's only because two of them aren't draft eligible until 2013. Toronto Maple Leafs goalie prospect Garrett Sparks and current Guelph Storm netminder is trying to make the squad, as is Leaf first round pick Tyler Biggs, who currently with the Oshawa Generals. The Americans have some big punishing D-men in the backend, not to mention all three of their goalies are huge, they are going to make it tough to get pucks to the net. 

Sweden makes its first trip to the tournament as defending champions since 1982. The hallmark of Sweden over the last few years of the tournament has been their phenomenal goaltending. This year is no exception with Erie Otters goalie and Blue Jackets draft pick Oscar Dansk manning the pipes. That if he gets the starters job… Niklas Lundström, a veteran of the Swedish national stage, put up amazing numbers in the IIHF U18 tournament in 2011 and is currently playing for AIK in the Swedish Elite League. Upfront the team has some returning firepower despite losing leading scorer Max Friberg (he's now 20). Returnee Filip Forsberg, Washington's first round pick will be a player to watch for his creativity, explosive shot and great two way play. Sweden's main concern may be in the back end, with no returning members from their championship squad from a year ago, but have a great two way defenceman named Hampus Lindholm, currently of the Norfolk Admirals in the AHL and the Ducks first round pick last year, who could be their anchor.

It will be a great tournament. It always is. The Russians are perennial favourites and hosts; no one should take them lightly. Not to mention the Czecs and Fins always ice some very tough teams… Canadians can click HERE for TSN's broadcast schedule of the tournament and here's your 2013 Canadian World Juniors (NHL team in parentheses):

GOALIES:

Jordan Binnington, Owen Sound Attack (St. Louis)

Jake Paterson, Saginaw Spirit (Detroit)

Malcolm Subban, Belleville Bulls (Boston)

DEFENSEMEN:

Dougie Hamilton, Niagara Ice Dogs (Boston)

Scott Harrington, London Knights (Pittsburgh)

Ryan Murphy, Kitchener Rangers (Carolina)

Xavier Ouellet, Blainville-Boisbriand Armada (Detroit)

Griffin Reinhart, Edmonton Oil Kings (New York Islanders)

Morgan Reilly, Moose Jaw Warriors (Toronto)

Tyler Wotherspoon, Portland Winterhawks (Calgary)

FORWARDS:

Anthony Camara, Barrie Colts (Boston)

Phillip Danault, Victoriaville Tigres (Chicago)

Jonathan Drouin, Halifax Mooseheads (2013 Draft)

Jonathan Huberdeau, Saint John Sea Dogs (Florida)

Charles Hudon, Chicoutimi Sagueneens (Montreal)

Boone Jenner, Oshawa Generals (Columbus)

J.C. Lipon, Kamloops Blazers (2013 Draft)

Nathan MacKinnon, Halifax Mooseheads (2013 Draft)

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Oklahoma City Barons (Edmonton)

Ty Rattie, Portland Winterhawks (St. Louis)

Brett Ritchie, Niagara Ice Dogs (Dallas)

Mark Scheifele, Barrie Colts (Winnipeg)

Ryan Strome, Niagara Ice Dogs (New York Islanders)

Added treat... 1987 tourney… Canada and Russia. If you know, then you know! Can you say double disqualification? 

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hayden .:. killbear

Up north for a couple days at one of my favourite places in Canada. Happy end of summer!

london 2012

We are almost two weeks into the Olympics and I was pretty on board when they started, having checked out many events from rowing to swimming to gymnastics. Where I started to get irked was around the badminton match between China's Wang Xiaoli & Yu Yang and South Korea's Jung Kyung-eun & Kim Ha-na. I've seen someone throw a game before, but I have never seen both sides trying to lose. The match didn't feature a rally of over four returns (you can do better than that in your backyard with ten beers in your system), with serves being hit into the net and routine shots hit way long. The same thing happened with the Ha Jung-eun & Kim Min-jung (South Korea) versus Meiliana Jauhari (Indonesia). Both teams were looking for an easier draw next round, but throwing games doesn't really go along with the ethics of sportsmanship in the Olympics. All eight competitors were disqualified. 

The social media doesn't bother me as much, since you can say what you want (within reason) in this day and age, not to mention that something that may appear to be accepted in some cultures may not in others. So, I take that with a grain of salt, and actually am kind of surprised by how many athletes have been expelled because of Twitter and Facebooking comments (like the pictured Greek triple jumper who was expelled just before the games).  

What did it for me, and many Canadians was the Canada-US female soccer game. The Canadians are leading the Americans 3-2 with time almost expired. Canadian goalie Erin McLeod held the ball for more than 6 seconds and apparently that is a violation, but one that it seldom called especially at such a crucial time of the game. The US is awarded a free kick and on the ensuing play the ball, at least semi-indirectly, hits a Canadian defender and we get called on a handball, then American Abby Wambach scores on the penalty kick awarded to them for the aforementioned handball. The US won it 4-3 in extra time. Forward Christine Sinclair, the best female player on the Canada team and arguably the world, said after the game "the ref decided the result before the game started." FIFA (who apparently is governing body at the Olympics?) is looking into the incidents/comments to see if supplementary action against the Canadians is required. Yes, the Canadians comments are being looked into. Not to the absolutely TERRIBLE refereeing. 

Maybe I'm just sick of London 2012, and wish it would stop pre-empting all the baseball games, but I just can't wait for them to be over. You get pretty excited at the start, then it wanes, slowly, as you watch the games unfold, then you become sick of them because of the politics and apparent match fixing. It's on every channel, every morning, then recaps all afternoon. And we're not doing too great on the Canadian front. I think we are better suited for the winter Olympics since everyone thinks we live in igloos anyways. But we can ski, skate, play hockey and curl... so spread that on your discus and smoke it!

canada day

Canadian stereotypes, eh? There's a lot of them, some true, some really true and some not so much. Here are some of my favourite ones even though some classics have been omitted since they are pretty stupid and I don't know how they became associated with us in the first place.

We don't have roads, live in igloos, and drive dog sleds.

Not true, in fact, probably only true in Northwest Territories, Nunavut and the Yukon, and even then I don't think too many people live in igloos. Our roads are usually paved, but there is lots of rural roads that are still dirt, but they are roads nonetheless.

We play hockey 24/7.

Also a slightly skewed view. We argue about it 24/7. Everyone in Canada is a GM. Which is cool, I've backseat GM'd the Leafs for like 20 years now (with little success). But hockey has become less of a winter sport these days with the Cup finals barely over two weeks ago, well into shorts season, and it starts back up again with training camps in September, making the sport, like the three other major leagues, a year round thing. Hockey just happens to have seven Canadian teams, with two other in the other major leagues combined. 

We all wear toques.

Just in the winter. And toque is a way better name than "beanie." That sounds really stupid. 

We are really nice.

Piss off.

We drink a lot of beer.

Yes, yes we do. We love our Canadian beer, since we know it's far superior to that of the US. But we love beer from all over the world and as long as it's cold, most Canadians will drink one without batting an eyelash. Canadians do have surprisingly good knowledge of beer though, in some cases it is the only thing any one beer drinker can speak intelligently about. 

We have monopoly money.

Let's see… Purple is for $1000, brown for $100, pink/red for $50, green for $20, purple for $10 and blue for $5. Hmm, well I think some of the colours are assigned wrong, maybe to avoid a lawsuit from the Monopoly guy who wear the monocle. 

Eh!

I don't think I ever say this, but maybe I say it SO much that I don't even know I do it anymore.

We put maple syrup on everything.

Just pancakes/french toast/crepes? What else would you put it on?

I'm going to stop.. so Happy Canada Day (and Canada Day long weekend) and drink some beer and rebuild those igloos!

Nickleback sucks. Canada apologizes.

Perpetuating the stereotype before I wrote this blog.. Irony!

Toronto skyline

Play safe out there!