Friday 22 June 2012

a couple things and soap names


Not feeling any better about roads in Toronto. Just a short while after Toronto's waterfront eyesore Gardiner Expressway was shedding concrete from its underside (SEE HERE), two lanes have been shutdown on Hwy 401, the busiest highway in the GTA, because extreme heat caused the asphalt to buckle. A contractor was called to the scene to repair the stretch which re-opened the lanes just a couple hours later. What dries that fast that can handle that kind of weight? Toronto has been in the midst of a heatwave for a few days now, with temperatures at 33.8 degrees celsius feeling closer to 40. The heat, smog and humidex advisories have been lifted today but, believe you me, it's still hot as hell.
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Men aren't that complicated. We just (usually) like beer, sports, a nice car, nice house, maybe a couple other little toys and that's that. Not too ridiculous right? Well, CNN listed some of the more extravagant toys that people have bought to play around with. Oracle (not sure what that is) CEO Larry Ellison has purchased a nice little vacation spot, about 98% of Lana'I, Hawaii's sixth largest island. No big deal, since Richard Branson owns a $53,000 per night private getaway known as Necker Island. Jeff Bezos, founder of amazing has been working on the world most extravagant model kit, a full functional rocket. Unfortunately for Bezos, it failed its test launch last year, but apparently his space team has located the actual engines from the Apollo 11 spacecraft, which should help this project get off the ground. Mark Cuban's entry is move of a record setting type scenario. His private jet, not new to the rich and famous, was purchased online for $40 million making it the largest e-commerce transaction of all time. I hope it was a secured server. This did make it into the Guinness Book of World Records. Paul Allen (not the one from American Psycho), co-founder of Microsoft owns the world's largest yacht, at least among tech moguls. It is 7 stories and looks like a Holland America cruise ship. Except Allen's has more staff. The other Microsoft cog Bill Gates made a $31 million of an original da Vinci manuscript. Apparently, the manuscript is just the tip of his rare items, as its reported he paid more than $30 million on a Winslow Homer painting. The Google founders are clearly military geeks, and own a Dornier Alpha fighter jet, which costs them $1.3 million to keep in a garage (?) over at NASA. Michael Dell of MSD Capital, acquired 185,000 vintage photos from renowned photogs for $100 million. The collection includes work by 103 photographers with pictures take of key moments in World War II to portraits of famous people like JFK and Gandhi, between the 1930s and mid 90s.
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Woody Allen has been making essentially the same movie for forty years. That's either a bad thing or a good thing, but there is a report out that the Woodman doesn't appreciate his fairweather fans who may just be familiar with "Annie Hall" and "Midnight In Paris" then dismiss the rest. He feels all his movies has the same kind of charm, and that if you like on of his films you should like most. Key word is definitely most. For every "Midnight In Paris," "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" and "Match Point" there's a "Cassandra's Dream," "Whatever Works" and "Melinda, Melinda." But we have to be used to this pattern by now. The 70s boasted his best work, with "Bananas," "Sleeper," "Love and Death," ranking up there with his late 70s output of "Annie Hall" and "Manhatten." But remember "Interiors" (never the Bergman-esque "masterpiece" he likes to think it is). It was pretty subpar, as was the ridiculously uneven "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask." The 80s started the real hit and miss with some genuine throwaways like "A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy" "Another Woman," "September" and "Zelig" (which isn't that bad, just hard to watch more than once). But peppered among those were classics like "Stardust Memories," "The Purple Rose Of Cairo," "Hannah & Her Sisters" (maybe the only Woody movie with a genuinely happy ending) and "Crimes & Misdemeanors." The 90s featured the brilliantly obscene "Deconstructing Harry," "Mighty Aphrodite" "Husbands & Wives" and "Sweet & Lowdown" and the terribly dull "Shadows & Fog", the overrated "Bullets Over Broadway", the dreadful "Alice" and "Everyone Says I Love You." So ya, point being, since about 1980, or thirty years of his 40+ year career has been hit and miss. The hits are usually bullseyes though, and if the premise of the movie appeals to you and you know what to expect from a Woody movie you will not be let down. After already writing and directing two films that are love letters to their respective cities (namely "Mahatten" and "Midnight In Paris"), he has his third such film slated for release, a tribute to the Eternal City, Rome called "To Rome With Love." It is made up of four vignettes (not intertwining - in fact not all in the same time period) and stars Jesse Eisenberg (as this films Woody stand-in), Ellen Page, Penelope Cruz, Ellen Page, Judy Davis and Woody himself. It opened in Italy a while back, New York and Los Angeles tonight and coming everywhere else (select theatres I'm sure) soon!
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Charlie Sheen as president of the USA? Let's hope not, unless you want the American capital relocated to Las Vegas. No, but seriously, it's in a movie. "Machete 2," a movie that screamed for a sequel, cast the crazed star as President, in a ridiculous cast that already include Jessica Alba, Danny Trejo and Mel Gibson. This puts the film in the lead for the "craziest and drunkest set to work on." Everything is coming up Sheen, as his show "Anger Management" is set to debut June 28, and he has just filmed a new movie co-starring with Bill Murray. Robert Rodriguez to me is dead. I think it happened with the Spy Kids franchise, but you can't tell me that "El Mariachi," "Desperado," (El Mariachi's Hollywood counterpart), "From Dusk Til Dawn" and his segment in "Four Rooms" weren't freaking brilliant. And that alien takeover teacher movie "The Faculty." That was fun too. Anyways, good times with the Sheener to be had.
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Ever wondered what your name would be if you were a soap opera actor? Me neither. But it was on CNN so I put mine in and I'm actually kind of pleased with the results. So from here on in I'm known as STERLING NORTON. Get yours here: SOAP

I remember those name generator site so I found a couple other with much more mixed results:

Pirate Name: Snifflin' Isaac Teach
Porno Name: Pud Banger (no homo)
Mafia Name: Tony the Bookie 
Mexican Wrestler: Surfer Grande

I'll just stop now. Those were all on the same page (HERE) so I did them all at once. Don't judge. 
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